Cant work in the mine due to strike

well, things just get more and more interesting here in Calama!  they are striking at the mine (well the subcontractors to be specific) their private employers denied them some kind of bonus and they are angry!!!  i dont blame them.  money is money.  i am not sure exactly how involved codelco, the company for which i am also privately contracted, is-- but its a pretty exciting and jarring experience.  I couldnt enter the mine through my normal gate (puerta 2) yesterday.   there was a strangely long line at the gate and a lot of police who have never been present before.  I had to wait for one of the employees, Julio, in the mine to smuggle me in so to speak.  we entered through a new gate and i was denied there, but Julio managed to talk me into the mine. apparently the reason i couldnt enter through gate 2 is because they were burning tires and throwing rocks at the train track crossing!!  my day was fairly normal once in the mine until i tried to leave and again could not exit through gate 2!  there were seriously boulders in the road and rubble everywhere!  i was taken through a different gate to exit and this time got to see a lot of the abandoned mine town, chuqicamata... im talking eerily vacant playgrounds, housing, and john f. kennedy elementary school.  it was a bit like being in a science fiction novel!

when i safely met up with my driver, juan, whose charge it is to take me to and from the mine everyday, i found that the striking workers where gathered at the towns center to continue there cause.  here all was peaceful and i picked up a paper of the striking group listing their grievances.  this morning, i was again denied at gate 2.  I waited for Julio to again come and get me and take me into a new gate, but he was not allowed to leave the mine... it seems that the police are hosing down the miners and it is considered too dangerous for anyone to leave or enter!  when i returned to Calama there were more protesters this time marching in the street. such a day!  no worries, im safe, though we dont know how long the strike will last.  its an interesting position as an outsider to chilean culture and a subcontractor of codelco.  i work with some of the highest people in the company, however they seemed pretty unaffected by the strike.  

i guess i dont really know how to evaluate this strike, but it seems that there will be more news to report from behind the front lines soon. 

Moving Up in the World

Just to keep things interesting... I have moved- from my home and my life in Santiago to the North.  I arrived yesterday to my new home a small mining town, Calama.  The whole thing has been a very interesting process.  Like most of my travels of late this whole decision has been very whimsical. I dropped my resume off to a couple of English teaching schools looking for a little side work and wound up getting offered this ridiculously high paying job with one small catch... I would need to move to the driest desert in the world and teach English to a group of managers and engineers in this mine called Codelco.  I was really on the fence about the whole thing for a while, but ultimately I felt that taking this job brought me closer to my personal goals of traveling in South America.  For the next six months I will be saving a lot of money and getting the chance to explore the North of Chile.  When that time is up I will be able to see a lot of other areas- Lima, Buenos Aires, etc. 

So in the end it was hard to say goodbye to what had started to resemble a life in Santiago, but it was a chance I had to take.  Very suddenly I packed my bags, quit my job, and jumped on an airplane headed up... way up north!  Having only just arrived its hard to say how I feel about my new home, but Im pretty sure no matter what I'm going to be alright here.  Ive always been a roll with the punches kind of girl with very little in the way of dire necessities... plus just about anything is an upgrade from the floors and schools I lived on when I walked the Camino de Santiago.  

shorty

"abre tu corazon"

you tell me in the language of children.

you speak lazily.  it isn't a command... just passing commentary,

as we sit

leisurely watching time change us.

i begin to speak but my words turn into laughter.

mi vida es un sueno.

More Badness

When I knew you, oh love, the elements of my heart divided. It scattered my earthly body into the wind like a bird's song.  And you found my heart again for me drifting over the Pyrenees. Like a butterfly it fluttered amongst the pilgrims.  My heart so young and wild, so red and strong beat with the song of freedom and so you let it go- because you loved me so.  You gave me my freedom again.  

And then you found my eyes, my liquid eyes deep off the pacific.  Hiding with the whales and dolphins, green as you remembered like the hills of Ireland.  They were buried deep like a treasure in the sea. And with the gentle hands I will always know you took me back to the shore.  But when my eyes caught sight of the land they turned form green to blue, the blue of the infinite ocean.  They cried the tears of mermaids and titans and again you said to me, "Girl of water and air-light as the wind and free as the fishes your elements are my own. So long as you are of the earth we are never far apart."

And you put me back with the blue crabs and rays, the angel fish and tangled limbs of the seas' forest once again- for you knew I would someday return to you.  For years you and I both wandered together but separate, my scent in the breeze your words never far from my mind.  

My lips full and deadly sweet, you found at last in Sedona -red as the earth and wise as the mountains.  You followed my laugh.  I was talking with the wolves.  They were teaching me how to howl when you saw my sharp teeth against the moonlight.  But you were not afraid you'd heard me shout before and still you loved me.  You called out for me to come home, but the call of the wolves was too great, and I could not hear you, my dear love.  The red clay of Arizona filled my mouth, and I was the land.  I would have come, oh love, I swear if I could have heard your call.  And still you shouted and the wolves and I laughed like children in the night, terrifying and permeating.  

For the third time you walked away still in love but changed.  Why hadn't I answered back? And your love grew dark wanting but no longer believing I would return.  "Girl of water, earth, and air- your body scattered all the world. I have found your heart, your eyes, and mouth but still you forsake me.  How can you love me so and forbid me this way?"  There you left our love to dry in the desert of your loneliness.  

But through the breeze my heart heard your cry and it knew in an instant that its freedom must change.  From the mountains it flew over oceans and time.  It collected my eyes and freed my red, sand mouth for the heart can do all things.  But still we were incomplete only your love- only your love could make us whole.  

And then it was my turn to cry.  "Oh boy of the earth, more patient, than time and more constant than the sun return to me and we will never be a part again."  You heard me cry, but your silence moved me to say more.  "Oh love, sweet love, what would you have me say?  You love me because I am the sea, the wind, and the earth- infinite and wide as my love for you.  But love, sweet love, you are my fire, my torch in the dark.  You have found me no matter where I hide because your love burned so.  I am not complete without you... because I am the earth and its elements and it takes all 4 to make one."  

And with that you took my hand in yours and we were fire.  So strong burned the flame of our love that it was eternal at an instant.  We were no longer of the earth, we became the earth- a love so tangible you could hold it.

I am the sky, the sea, the land and they are me, but you oh love, sweet and true love, fire to my soul that you have always been--you bring me back to myself. You guide me home, and you forge me into something new.  

Bad Poetry for the Soul

I have held a starfish of the coast of California.

Tamed a rattlesnake in Texas.  

Touched the greenest clover in Ireland.

Drank velvet wine in Tuscany.

And tasted the salty sea of the Atlantic from the sunny coves of Finisterre.

Drank brandy as it ran through the streets of Santiago.

Been a fish in the crystal oceans of Mexico.

And through it all and over again I finally come to understand that home is still the nicest sight.

That the welcoming hand of friendship will keep you warmer than the strongest fire.  That my mother's awkward smile in a photo is more genuinely kind than the outstretched hands of the statues at St. Peter's.  More than the ocean's tide trapped in the echo of a shell, the sound of Emily snoring leaves me in wonder of the great mystery of life.  All these struggles, all these stamps, these tears of joy, pain, and love are mine. Made of me, and perhaps only to me will all of this ever matter.  I leave it now, but know too true that my heart wise and wide with experience and life beats today because of the family I have left behind.  Because of the friends who have held me up along the way.  And this journey is the journey of life, and is only complete by returning back to them.  

7 weeks in one place

this week was kind of hallmark for me. the first time since june that i have been in one location for over 7 weeks. with all the traveling that i have done this year i have not had a steady address or place of recidence in a long time. ive been sleeping on floors, couches, at my parents house, or in a hostel for a ages...and suddenly it struck me just how odd it is that i am finally LIVING somewhere again...not just passing through. 7 weeks in chile. 7 weeks and every day is still different. between a new language, making new friends in a new language, working, studying, etc. i can honestly say that i still love it here. my life- it is remarkable how simple everything is for me here. even very real stresses seem more managable. perhaps im adjusting to a more tropical state of mind, but i find myself very satisfied in south america. i was remarking to coletta, a very extrodinary person that i by chance met on the plane out here, that though i am poorer than i have ever been in my life, i am also happier and more content. i still see so much of this reneweed bliss as something i awakened on my camino- not a single day goes by where i do not rexamine how giving everything up brought me more enternal wealth than i could have ever imagined. i know i would not be living here if i had not taken a walk that became my life. and here i sit at some sweaty internet cafe more alive than i have been in a long time. 7 weeks is normal for most people, a routine, but my 7 weeks they resemble real life but are so very different from what my life has been for so long.

Rolling with the Punches

it is my most sincere desire to write the complete and honest truth about my experiences over seas. i dont want to remember only the good or only the bad... i want to remember the truth, as i saw it. truth is a fluid thing after all...

today, im asking myself to think and reflect. the days are such a blur at times of spanish and sounds. of walking everywhere but tuning out the street. this week especially i felt sad. being sad is not really normal for me. i mean of course i get sad at times, but there was a sort of weight on me that i could not shake all week. it started with a real longing for my friends. it sounds trivial but what i missed more than anything was getting random phone calls from people. i wanted my cell phone to ring and it to be one of my dearest friends telling me nothing important at all. i just wanted to talk with someone to laugh to be connected inspite of all the distance. but alas, this did not happen. a times when i get home there is a kind of drawbridge that raises. i have no internet there so i cant talk on skype to anyone, and i dont have money to buy phone cards so... it feels isolated at times.

the money thing is a big problem right now. im very worried about the cash flow... or lack of cash flow so i cut myself off sometimes too. i just dont have enough money to go out... this is coming from a person whose lunch everyday is a turkey and mustard sandwich and a tomato. im being VERY conservative with the pesos. it really sucks to have such a small friend base and then at times feel like i shouldnt even be going out with them because i cant afford it. by thursday i was just sort of moping around. i decieded after an enormous amount of pressure from my coworkers to go out and have a beer with them. just one beer we all said. i guess i can manage my money enough for one beer. i went trying to muster some kind of excitement, but i was really reaching.

i walked into the bar and found my coworkers, i also saw someone i had not seen in a while, my very good friend astrid. how can you describe someone like astrid... unforggetable is the first word that comes to mind. she is so full of energy and love. a geniune love, a sincere passion for all of the people she knows. i sat down beside her and she looked at me and asked me immediately, "why are you sad?"

she knew right away that something was wrong. i tried to deny it (how do you explain all of that in spanish?) but she pressed me. "you are not acting like yourself." she said. finally, i broke it all down to her, how i missed my friends, i was stressed about money, etc. she looks at me and says so sincerly... "why havent you called me? kimi, you are always welcome. you are a very special girl and we are friends. when you want to see me all you need to do is call. i would love to hang out. you dont need to worry about money... that is what friends are for, we help each other, we buy each others drinks. a friend who gives you something expecting something in return is not a friend at all." astrid was right. i felt so silly and also so welcome. i laughed and talked with the group our one beer turned into many. i felt better and it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

my spanish still frustrates me. i am taking private lessons for the next week which i think my help correct some of the little mistakes i continue to make. other than that i try to push myself to use it correctly and frequently. somedays are better than others, but nothing good ever comes easy. and this is something i truly and completely understand... i feel gratitude for this experience even when the days or weeks are tough.

El Cajon del Maipo

it was all silence when i set foot in the canyon. the kind of stillness that seems permanent and infinite. as dense and ancient as the andes surrounding me. a silence that you must give into. you hold your breath and gaze in wonder at the mountains. you are in the belly of time.

our guide broke the silence, jorge's calm and patient voice held my attention for only a second, but i heard him explain that the van had a flat tire and that we would be walking to the canyon from our current location on the windy road. this was no bother to me. i had been wanting to get up and walk around since the moment we rounded the first corner and saw the snow and the mountains. as we walked up towards the mouth of the canyon there was the faint trickle of water. a small stream from the melting snow of the andes rolled lazily and steadily down the mountain. as we walked uphill the stream grew to a small river and blocked our path several times. we climbed over rocks to avoid getting wet although some walked right through the puddles with the help of the guide.

i was excited. for a moment i almost felt like i was back on my camino. nothing but me and my back pack, however the group and especially the fact that we had a guide with us confirmed that this walk would be significantly shorter than the last time i climbed through the mountains. it is a very different thing to walk with a large group... trying to walk their pace, making sure no one gets left behind. the walk was relatively easy. a couple of tricky points which required attention and focus, especially when i got the bright idea to blaze my own trail. we shared the path with horses and other hikers. the change of altitude affected us all, and we were breathing heavy as we finally reached the lake that we were climbing towards.

the water was mud brown and freezing. towards the center of the lake there was a bright blue iceberg. it grew cold immediately and i pulled on the sweater that a friend had lent me. my feet were tired and i really missed my hiking boots. i pulled of my shoes and stretched out my legs. snow plummeted down from atop the mountain across the lake. the rocky shore of the lake was littered with campers and people. already that temperature had dropped significantly, the campers were in for a cold night. i put my shoes back on and explored the upper part of the shore. the canyon stretched on behind us seemingly endless. in a breathless moment of joy and amazement i asked myself just how i had gotten here. thousands of miles from anything familiar. my life, now so completely different from the one i lived before. i wonder if i can ever go back there. back to my life in LA, back to normalcy, back to things that people tell me i should want. i touch the rocks, they will outlast us all. i take a little pebble and carry it back down to the shore. i love how it feels in my hand, i love that something so small holds more history than anything i can imagine. i think about taking it with me, but it is not mine to take. i set it down and join the others as we prepare to head back down the mountain.

the sun is high and strong, but soon, very soon, it will be night. i head down the mountain different but the same. i marvel at how i can be so many things at once. i find the bus repaired and ready to take us back to Santiago. I find my seat and am half asleep as the bus bounces down the rocky road ahead.

Sola en Español

well, the new year finds me back in chile. ive been here just over a week now. it is at once so familiar and mysterious to me. im living with the same family i lived with the previous time i was in santiago. they have welcomed me with open arms and i truely feel i am lucky to have come into the home of such a loving and generous family. the food at the home continues to amaze me. i think i am noticing things slightly differently due to the fact that i know i am going to be here a while more.  

for example, chileans use mayo on everything. even their salads. it is their form of salad dressing. it never registered to me how, VERY different it is from the states in that way. and almost nothing we eat is processed all the food is made from scratch from veggies that were bought that morining. rice is about the most processed thing that exists in the house. except for the mustard that i bought. i am living on a very tight budget and am eating turkey and mustard sandwhiches almost every lunch. at my job we all eat lunch together in the kitchen located below. people have such rich and fantasic meals; meat with tomatoes and avacado, empanadas, potatoes, etc. and then i sit down with my turkey and mustard sandwhich... its like one of these things is not like the other? i hate that i am eating such a "gringa" lunch, but it is all i can afford at this time. mostly it makes me laugh, but no one else seems to be judging me for my poor and stereotypical meal.

i finally got a cell phone which i hope will allow me to socialize a little more. it is quite a thing to move to a country where you know virtually no one and have a life only in spanish. i love my spanish class, but i am now at a level where it is harder than ever. the professors are much harder on us, and i really have to step up. im always studying or reviewing the material, but i guess i have to do more. there is always a good deal of adjustment whenever you move, and i know that in a couple of more weeks all of this will seem easier, but for now when i get home at the end of the day im frustrated and tired. my mind hurts from all im learning and yet i wish i was learning it faster.

for now i have a feeling im an island of english in a sea of spanish. lets hope i can figure out how to build a bridge!

Chile parte dos

i'm back in chile.  I knew i would make it back down here.  i was home for a month for xmas and new years, and just as suddenly as my arrival back to the US, i was in chile.  again.  when i was leaving the first time i told a friend that i would be back.  it is amazing what you can accomplish when you know what you are after.  

not a lot has changed in chile since i left a month ago.  it is still so hot and busy.  people still water their lawns with a kind of devotion i have never seen in the US.  chileans speak so quickly, but are amazingly generous in every encounter.  it feels good to be back. a homecoming of sorts.  im staying with the same family that i stayed with when i first visited.  they are an amazing group of people.  proof of this can be seen by the fact that though their house is completely full at this moment, they have 3 other students, yet they insisted on taking me in as well.  the maid, has given me her room and is staying with the child for the next week until one of the students returns home.  i feel really bad about putting her out but they absolutely insisted that i stay.  

for me their is an excitement about being here and a simplicity to it all.  it feels good to be back!