El Cajon del Maipo

it was all silence when i set foot in the canyon. the kind of stillness that seems permanent and infinite. as dense and ancient as the andes surrounding me. a silence that you must give into. you hold your breath and gaze in wonder at the mountains. you are in the belly of time.

our guide broke the silence, jorge's calm and patient voice held my attention for only a second, but i heard him explain that the van had a flat tire and that we would be walking to the canyon from our current location on the windy road. this was no bother to me. i had been wanting to get up and walk around since the moment we rounded the first corner and saw the snow and the mountains. as we walked up towards the mouth of the canyon there was the faint trickle of water. a small stream from the melting snow of the andes rolled lazily and steadily down the mountain. as we walked uphill the stream grew to a small river and blocked our path several times. we climbed over rocks to avoid getting wet although some walked right through the puddles with the help of the guide.

i was excited. for a moment i almost felt like i was back on my camino. nothing but me and my back pack, however the group and especially the fact that we had a guide with us confirmed that this walk would be significantly shorter than the last time i climbed through the mountains. it is a very different thing to walk with a large group... trying to walk their pace, making sure no one gets left behind. the walk was relatively easy. a couple of tricky points which required attention and focus, especially when i got the bright idea to blaze my own trail. we shared the path with horses and other hikers. the change of altitude affected us all, and we were breathing heavy as we finally reached the lake that we were climbing towards.

the water was mud brown and freezing. towards the center of the lake there was a bright blue iceberg. it grew cold immediately and i pulled on the sweater that a friend had lent me. my feet were tired and i really missed my hiking boots. i pulled of my shoes and stretched out my legs. snow plummeted down from atop the mountain across the lake. the rocky shore of the lake was littered with campers and people. already that temperature had dropped significantly, the campers were in for a cold night. i put my shoes back on and explored the upper part of the shore. the canyon stretched on behind us seemingly endless. in a breathless moment of joy and amazement i asked myself just how i had gotten here. thousands of miles from anything familiar. my life, now so completely different from the one i lived before. i wonder if i can ever go back there. back to my life in LA, back to normalcy, back to things that people tell me i should want. i touch the rocks, they will outlast us all. i take a little pebble and carry it back down to the shore. i love how it feels in my hand, i love that something so small holds more history than anything i can imagine. i think about taking it with me, but it is not mine to take. i set it down and join the others as we prepare to head back down the mountain.

the sun is high and strong, but soon, very soon, it will be night. i head down the mountain different but the same. i marvel at how i can be so many things at once. i find the bus repaired and ready to take us back to Santiago. I find my seat and am half asleep as the bus bounces down the rocky road ahead.

Sola en Español

well, the new year finds me back in chile. ive been here just over a week now. it is at once so familiar and mysterious to me. im living with the same family i lived with the previous time i was in santiago. they have welcomed me with open arms and i truely feel i am lucky to have come into the home of such a loving and generous family. the food at the home continues to amaze me. i think i am noticing things slightly differently due to the fact that i know i am going to be here a while more.  

for example, chileans use mayo on everything. even their salads. it is their form of salad dressing. it never registered to me how, VERY different it is from the states in that way. and almost nothing we eat is processed all the food is made from scratch from veggies that were bought that morining. rice is about the most processed thing that exists in the house. except for the mustard that i bought. i am living on a very tight budget and am eating turkey and mustard sandwhiches almost every lunch. at my job we all eat lunch together in the kitchen located below. people have such rich and fantasic meals; meat with tomatoes and avacado, empanadas, potatoes, etc. and then i sit down with my turkey and mustard sandwhich... its like one of these things is not like the other? i hate that i am eating such a "gringa" lunch, but it is all i can afford at this time. mostly it makes me laugh, but no one else seems to be judging me for my poor and stereotypical meal.

i finally got a cell phone which i hope will allow me to socialize a little more. it is quite a thing to move to a country where you know virtually no one and have a life only in spanish. i love my spanish class, but i am now at a level where it is harder than ever. the professors are much harder on us, and i really have to step up. im always studying or reviewing the material, but i guess i have to do more. there is always a good deal of adjustment whenever you move, and i know that in a couple of more weeks all of this will seem easier, but for now when i get home at the end of the day im frustrated and tired. my mind hurts from all im learning and yet i wish i was learning it faster.

for now i have a feeling im an island of english in a sea of spanish. lets hope i can figure out how to build a bridge!

Chile parte dos

i'm back in chile.  I knew i would make it back down here.  i was home for a month for xmas and new years, and just as suddenly as my arrival back to the US, i was in chile.  again.  when i was leaving the first time i told a friend that i would be back.  it is amazing what you can accomplish when you know what you are after.  

not a lot has changed in chile since i left a month ago.  it is still so hot and busy.  people still water their lawns with a kind of devotion i have never seen in the US.  chileans speak so quickly, but are amazingly generous in every encounter.  it feels good to be back. a homecoming of sorts.  im staying with the same family that i stayed with when i first visited.  they are an amazing group of people.  proof of this can be seen by the fact that though their house is completely full at this moment, they have 3 other students, yet they insisted on taking me in as well.  the maid, has given me her room and is staying with the child for the next week until one of the students returns home.  i feel really bad about putting her out but they absolutely insisted that i stay.  

for me their is an excitement about being here and a simplicity to it all.  it feels good to be back!